Doing it all, or a lesson in what to outsource…

Moving to the countryside as an adult, when all of your adult life has been spent traveling or living in cities can be a big learning curve. The isolation, the heavy yard work, maintaining property, caring for animals and growing your own food are the things self sustainable eco paradise dreams are made of, but the reality is hard work if you are doing it yourself. Throw in being a single women and things get slightly more interesting.
Never one to shy away from getting dirty, I loved the prospect of this self sufficient lifestyle. Wielding an axe like a pro to chop firewood, picking up horse poo, I was a natural pretty much from the get go. I had always been one to change a flat tyre, do a dodgy fix up of plumbing and clean my own toilets, so all the seemingly endless tasks of looking after and maintaining an old farm house were, in my mind, tasks I could DO MYSELF, no worries. Despite my seeming propensity to farm life, certain things I could not relegate to the realms of city life. Getting facials and massages regularly as well as the perfect eyebrow and bikini wax were little luxuries I still afforded myself when required. It did help that I used to work in a dayspa where I did everything but waxing and tinting, but even when I quit working there, I continued to outsource these tasks.
So yesterday I was in priceline to buy tissues for Mister.R who had suddenly developed a runny nose, when I saw a do it yourself wax kit. Hmm I really need a bikini wax and I keep forgetting to book one in, I thought to myself. Then I realised, hey thats something I can do myself!
So I bought it.
Worst Idea Ever.
I am writing this straight after the ordeal, while its fresh in my mind, so it is cemented in memory to remind me never to do it again and to warn others never to do it either. It was painful, uncomfortable, did NOT go as smoothly as anticipated and did not result in the removal of all the hair that was supposed to be removed. For a start I couldn’t even see where it was supposed to go, and I cleverly thought that I didn’t need to. It was impossible to pull the skin taught like at the salon and ripping out your own hair must be one of the worst forms of self harm ever thought up. I’ve just got out of the shower, where to my dismay I discovered that wax does not melt in hot water, or soapy water. I thought I would never be able to pee again after the untenable wax did not go where I wanted it and formed a seal enclosing my sensitive bits. After a really long shower and an electric hair shaver to the rescue, I have emerged in one piece, but very fragile. I just have to say, I have so much respect for the women who have waxed me in the past, and all the other people out there waxing day in day out. you do an amazing job, and without you, well, I dare not even think about that scenario.
So maybe I can’t do everything myself, just don’t tell anyone I’ve ever dated that(or my mum).

One thought on “Doing it all, or a lesson in what to outsource…”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *