As I grow older, I find myself wishing more often that I had just one thing I was passionate about. As long as I can remember I have always been interested in everything, mediocre at everything and not particularly outstanding at anything. I’m envious when I speak to or read about people who decide to follow their passion, giving up up their ho hum job/existence to pursue what they are truly passionate about, wishing I could throw myself 100 % into something that I loved.
Recently I sat down and attempted writing my manifesto to try and work out what my talents, skills and passions are. Basically, I came to nothing aside from my intense desire to see human rights in practice and my stubborn tenacity in arguments and concluded that I should study Law, so naturally I rushed straight in to enrolling in a Bachelor of Laws.
This lasted 7 weeks. Firstly it was a lot harder then I imagined, and secondly I felt like as my interest is human rights it is a waste of time at my age to have 3 years of study on things like taxation law, family law, corporate law that I will never use.
So I am back to the beginning.
What do I really want, what is my life purpose?
They say to ask yourself, what would you be doing with your life if money was no object. If I answer that honestly it would be music. Music was my first love and has been my constant obsession and companion. To pursue a career in music scares me though because as a single mother, I need an income, I need to be able to provide solely for the upbringing of my two boys. Music is the closest thing i have to a passion but I don’t actually play any instruments (thanks to my short attention span when learning them). I live in the countryside so working in the music industry in any capacity is pretty much out of the question. Photography has always been another great love, I just get put off by the fact that it seems like everyone is a photographer and/or yoga teacher these days, plus the equipment is so expensive.
So again, back to square one. How do I spend the rest of my life? How do I make money to support myself and my kids until I die? We will be working till we fall over dead unless we make quite a few million in gold bullion to retire on, the bleak liberal future holds no old age pension and no security in superannuation etc.
I love writing, but I’m also not particularly good at that either.After speaking to a few close friends I have been convinced that one can learn to be a good writer, so I guess its time I threw myself into it and give it my best shot.
If you are one of those people who followed your passion, did you just know that it was it, or did you have competing passions and have to choose?